


15 degrees

by leoeo



Category: The Magnus Archives (Podcast)
Genre: F/F, daisy isnt actually there but its about her, post 160, time to talk about feelings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-20
Updated: 2020-06-20
Packaged: 2021-03-04 01:20:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,263
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24825199
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/leoeo/pseuds/leoeo
Summary: Georgie recognized the way that Basira’s face had lost any pieces of the person she so desperately tried to project to the world. Georgie had seen that before, but mostly she remembered what it meant to feel like that. And anyway, she had never expected to see anyone other than Melanie again, and Georgie had always tried to think of herself as a protector.
Relationships: Basira Hussain/Alice "Daisy" Tonner, Georgie Barker/Melanie King
Comments: 3
Kudos: 14





	15 degrees

**Author's Note:**

> ok so ive literally never written fic for anything before so bear with me. ive got some learning disability stuff that makes writing very difficult so i really apologize for any grammar/punctuation fuck ups in this.
> 
> tma was a big part of me coming to terms with being a lesbian and i care so much about these four its crazy, and im really proud that i managed to write this. 
> 
> big big love to bea ripley and jude who were incredible moral support throughout this and were super helpful with coming up with ideas.

“Hi. I… I didn’t know where else to go.”

Basira couldn’t do this anymore. Time had stopped feeling real weeks ago, and it had been even longer since she had spoken to anyone else, or even thought about anyone but Daisy. Her Daisy. She had known how powerful that woman was from the first time she had met her, she had always been a little afraid of what she was capable of. She had always just been glad they were on the same side. 

Basira just hadn’t been ready to be without her. The first time she was gone. It ached those years ago, thinking she had lost her. Finally seeing her again, the way that that “Hi” broke down every wall that she had put up to try not to feel the soul crushing loss. She had never felt anything like that before. She was whole again. She had been so lost without her. Daisy’s arms felt different after that day. She shook more. When before there had only been occasional moments where you could see past The Hunt within Daisy, now that person behind it was fighting to be seen. And didn’t quite know how to exist without it yet. This new Daisy was everything Basira had loved of her. But she still didn’t quite know how to take care of her, how to really love her the way she needed. 

But this time, Basira knew that she wasn’t going to get that lucky again. She had never needed anyone quite this much, but somewhere deep within her she hoped that she would never find what had used to be the woman that had once been her home.

Maybe, if she had done some things differently. Maybe. It's all so hard to tell. Basira had always had trouble with uncertainty.

In any other situation, Georgie should have never opened that door. But this new world couldn’t hurt her, and more importantly it couldn’t hurt Melanie. Melanie was always the first thing on her mind. It hurt her to not be able to worry about this woman she loved. She had never missed that instinctual pain quite this much before. The end had marked her so long ago that her own End had just become part of what it meant to be alive as herself. She wasn't used to having someone else’s loom so heavily in her thoughts. Well, it had been kind of similar with Jon when he was in his coma, but that felt more like a sadness, knowing she was supposed to feel something that she didn't. With Melanie though, with her it felt like a punch to the gut every time that she realized that she should be anxious. A lot of it turned to guilt. And a lot of it turned towards anger. Anger at The Eye, and the Institute, and along with that, a lot of complicated feelings towards this person she is now face to face with. 

Put together Basira. Stoic Basira. Her past as a cop had always been evident in the way she carried herself, but not quite in the same way it always was with Daisy. This wasn’t that Basira though. Georgie recognized the way that Basira’s face had lost any pieces of the person she so desperately tried to project to the world. Georgie had seen that before, but mostly she remembered what it meant to feel like that. And anyway, she had never expected to see anyone other than Melanie again, and Georgie had always tried to think of herself as a protector. Whether or not she was going to this simple thing to keep Basira safe was not a question. 

“Dear god Basira.”

“I'm so sorry. I know you don't want me here, I just-”

“No, no. please, it's really so good to see you. We really just thought that… that everyone was gone.”

For some reason, this is what finally starts to break Basira. Just as Georgie brings herself close to Basira to try to physically support her, Basira just starts to sob. Georgie had never known Basira well, but she had heard enough from Melanie, and to a lesser extent Jon, to know this wasn’t even close to typical for her.

Georgie gets Basira to the couch, but doesn't really know where to go from there. Usually Georgie is pretty good at this stuff, but now she has no idea what she could do that wouldn’t just make everything hurt even more for Basira. In these brief moments of almost complete silence, the familiar sounds of her love’s now slow walk hit Georgie. It had only been recently that Melanie had stopped using her cane around the house. Georgie had known many versions of the way that Melanie moved herself, and while some part of her missed the way she used to storm through the world, she could feel the stability of her step return, something she hadn’t known since long before any resignation. Georgie hadn’t seen Melanie this close to ok since before Melanie had ever set foot in The Institute. It felt like the Melanie from back when they were colleagues, from before Melanie was anything except the beautiful girl always wanting to go somewhere bigger and better to see if this time she’d find something unexplainable. And then she did.

Georgie, thankful for something to do other than just watching Basira in pain, jumps up to take Melanie’s arm.

Melanie doesn’t actually need this physical support anymore, but she isn’t going to stop Georgie. It wasn’t until Georgie that Melanie could stand to have anyone touch her so casually. Georgie had never treated her like she was anything other than herself. Even pre Slaughter, she had become so disconnected from anything that could possibly be seen as soft. And somehow, Georgie, kind Georgie, had managed to make Melanie want to be truly seen. 

On the other hand, Melanie is not used to people other than Georgie in their home quite yet. In all honesty, it seemed like that was something that she would never get the chance to get used to. 

Just as Georgie tries to start to explain to Melanie the little she knows of the situation, Basira has straightened up, and speaks before Georgie has the chance to.

“Melanie- Melanie, I’m,” Basira’s voice begins to break. She takes a moment to take a breath and pull herself together. “I’m really, really glad to see you.” 

She’s crying a little bit again, but it’s a different kind of tears. Tears less about the guilt you feel while trying to kill the love of your life, and more of the ones you cry when seeing someone who was once very close to you who you thought you’d never see again. The person who was her rock the first time she lost Daisy. But Daisy isn’t really lost this time, is she? 

Melanie hadn’t heard that familiar voice for months. Months where everything in her world had completely turned on its head, in so, so many ways. It was that same contrast of Basira’s clearly strong emotions and her need for stability in her voice when Melanie told her what she was going to do. At that point she didn’t think it would be a goodbye for very long, but she was fully aware that it would all be so different after that point. The Eye’s influence goes deep. 

There’s a moment of fumbling before the two old friends manage to find each other’s arms. Basira is at least a full head taller than Melanie, but she’s now significantly weaker than she used to be. In that moment, it was clear just how much had changed between them. When once Basira had been the one always trying to seem in control and strong, she can’t even pretend anymore.  
After a few more moments of stunned silence, Melanie breaks the moment to ask in disbelief,  
“How the hell are you here?”

Georgie, who had just been a few feet away from this moment that she wasn't a part of, brought herself back to the conversation “How did you find this place though Basira?”

“I really don’t know. Maybe the institute got to me more than I thought it did.”

At this, Melanie visibly tenses up. She had missed Basira, but almost nothing else about the last couple years. It’s strange how much of an impact the people that brought you comfort in your darkest times make on who you are. “You’re here though. We’re out of The Eye’s reach. We can’t be seen by it,” Melanie insists. She isn’t actually 100% convinced herself, but for her own sanity she needs to believe it.

“Yeah, well, if it’s coming for me too, it's still got some work to do,” Basira sighs  
.  
Melanie softens a little, clearly having a lot of emotions about this, but not wanting to explain all of them. “It's hard to be able to tell when it’s coming. If it's coming. It’s just what seems to make sense to you. They’re good at that, making it seem like what you’ve always wanted.” 

“Yeah. I know. I watched this whole thing in reverse, pretty much. I know you did too, but you didn’t know her before like I did. God. If you had told me what I've seen of her now when I met her, there’s no way I would’ve believed you. She was always the strong one, she was-, she was untouchable. I had never met anyone like her.”

There’s a moment where Basira has stopped herself from going on more about Daisy, but Melanie and Georgie don’t quite know how to respond to any of it. Whether it’s related or not, Basira has The Eye’s talent for a monologue. Georgie breaks this silence once again.  
“Where was she at the last time you saw her? Was it her or was it…” She trails off.

Basira knew this conversation had to come. She had replayed that moment of goodbye over and over in her mind, until now when she wasn't sure which details were to be trusted, and which were her just desperately wanting to find more meaning in that promise. Desperately looking for a way to not go through with it, but to still keep her word to the one person that she could never willingly let down.

“The tunnels. Right as all of this was starting, everything was happening in the tunnels. She didn’t want me to see her like that, but I did. Just for a second. It was everything I had always tried to ignore about her, and some of why I had started to love her. I don’t know where she is though. That's what I'm doing out here, I'm looking for her. Except I’m not sure I really want to find her.” 

“Because of what she is now?” Georgie asks.

“No, I mean, I’m not sure I want to see that, but that's not the real reason,” Basira takes a deep breath again, “Daisy and I keep our promises to each other. It’s not always a good thing about us, but there were years where each other’s word is all we had. We had each other’s backs. She’s always been my exception, and watching her become weak, it was frustrating but it made me realize just how intensely we needed each other.”

Melanie is holding Basira’s hand now. It’s been a while, but the gesture is familiar to both of them. Neither of them have ever been ones to offer touch casually, but they also knew each other well enough to know when it was necessary. Basira continues:  
“Before she changed, Daisy made me promise to kill her.”

This admission makes everything click into place for Georgie and Melanie. It’s a shock, but not particularly out of character. Daisy and Basira had always been a huge, dramatic, tragic, messy love story. 

Melanie had seen this before. She remembered every time that she saw Basira kiss Daisy's weak forehead, only to turn away from her and sob. Every time that she saw that she needed to be the one to sit with Daisy, so Basira could do whatever she needed to do, every walk around the institute, every trip outside, every time that Basira couldn’t be strong anymore, but needed to convince herself she was. Melanie knows exactly what Basira looks like right now. How could she have forgotten.

“I just can’t do it,” Basira felt any comfort from the familiarity of Melanie’s presence drain from her. Suddenly this space of peace made her feel sick, how could these two dare to be here, to love and be in love as she wanders through literal hell. What had they done to deserve this? And then Basira takes another look at these two former ghost hunters. She had listened to their statements, she had seen Melanie at her worst, hell she had even listened to Georgie's podcast. These two women had an unimaginable amount of pain between them. Something only a few people could understand, but Basira was one of those people. Mostly it was the fact that they were lucky enough to be together was what made Basira ache. They were what she and Daisy once believed they were. What they could’ve been. 

It would be easy to say that The Hunt was the reason this wasn't them, but Melanie was just as connected to violence as Daisy was. Melanie had just made the choice to stop destroying everything from within. A choice that Daisy made too, but it was too late. Borrowed time. But also, Daisy’s hurt so rarely turned inwards. The Hunt and The Slaughter look the same at first, but The Slaughter never pretends to be something it isn't. For Melanie, her patron was about the hurt. For Daisy, it was about the game. The victory of terror. 

It wasn't even like Basira hadn’t done worse things than this because Daisy had wanted her to. It wasn't like she hadn’t turned her back on things she didn't want to remember, just to keep Daisy safe. Anything for Daisy. She felt so sick thinking of what she had to do, but felt even guiltier imagining not doing it. She just wanted her Daisy back. Not this monster, just the woman who would put her arm around her and everything would feel ok again. The way that Daisy would always smile, just a little, when she said Basira’s name. Basira hated herself for every moment that she hadn’t been fully and completely grateful to have Daisy back. How often do you get lucky enough to have someone come back? Not enough for it to happen twice.

Georgie honestly feels a little out of place in this conversation. She had met Daisy once or twice briefly, but she had heard about her from Melanie, and when she had seen Daisy she could sense that she had seen something that had hollowed her. She knew the story too, so who knows how much of that was just the idea already in her head, but Georgie liked to think that being touched by The End gave her a little more ability to see that kind of stuff. The avatar stuff was difficult for Melanie to talk about, so she didn’t push for information often, but Georgie knew with her fear-free clairity that she had at least at some point been capable of becoming something like Melanie. Something like Daisy, or Jon, or the rest of this ruined world.

“So what are you going to do?” Georgie says in a way that might be seen as abrupt if Basira and Melanie weren’t both people who appreciated that about her.

“I really don’t know. I just need to not be searching for a little bit. I know that there aren’t many options, and that I’m so lucky to still be alive and myself, but every moment out there I can just feel every part of myself start to dissolve. I’m sorry to just show up here like this and not even know what I’m doing, but this might be the only place in the world I even possibly could be safe. I get it if you want me out.”

“Basira. I know not everything has been easy between us. But I care about you.” It's clear that Melanie is still trying to get used to saying things like this. “And I’m not going to let you go back out there right now.”

Basira also knows how difficult that was for Melanie to say, so she isn’t going to argue with it just to be polite, even if she doesn’t 100% believe it. It’s what she needs, and it’s what’s being offered. 

Melanie then remembers this isn’t solely her home, and that Georgie had a complicated relationship to people simply showing up at her home.“I mean, if Georgie-”

“Of course. It’s what I had been planning to do as soon as I saw you, Basira.” Georgie knows where this hesitation is from, and even though it's not needed, she loves Melanie for it. “We want to see you safe. And there aren’t many other options for that to be possible.

It's quiet again, but for the first time since Basira’s arrival, it's the kind of quiet that feels natural. All three of them taking a moment to think about where they found themselves. The world had ended, but they were still here. 

And there they sat.

Georgie Barker, so fundamentally disconnected from the pain that engulfed this world. All she had ever wanted was to keep those who she loved safe from the things she had seen. The Georgie that wasn’t broken had crystallized at age 18, and everything after that had been her trying to piece together a self that could still be recognized as a person. She knew that she was supposed to be the one who was ok throughout this, but it somehow just stung more. She’s just trying to stay strong. As long as Melanie is ok, she’ll be ok too.

Melanie King, the only one who had escaped and survived, who had stared down The Eye and won- she had become herself for the first time she could remember, and it all fit together, her with the two people who had managed to know and love her at her worst. She still shook sometimes, in that way that was both anger and fear, but now she really knew it was fear. The Slaughter had been the only way she knew how to survive. It was the only way she could fight. But maybe she doesn't have to fight quite so much anymore. Maybe, just maybe, she’s safe now.

Basira Hussain is still tired. She’s not sure there was ever a time where she wasn’t. But she’s safe now.

And still so far away, Daisy Tonner, avatar of The Hunt wandered. Who knew if she was still enough of herself to be able to feel how much every part of her was empty without Basira. Who knew if she thought about Basira’s promise as much as she did. Who knows if she would even want to see Basira again. Who knows what kind of pain she’s in.  
But she is still loved. She is loved so much more than she can know. 

Every eye has a blindspot, it’s where the optic nerve connects to the retina. It’s about 15 degrees away from the center of vision, and you can go your whole life without even knowing you have it.


End file.
